The shortlist for this years Orange Prize has been announced. Booksellers are apparently hailing the list as “fantastic” (Rodney Troubridge, Waterstone’s), if, in the understatement of the year, “a little predictable” (Jasper Sutcliffe, Foyles).

It’s the usual suspects, with three out of the six already nominated for the Booker, but there’s not much between them except sales - Hilary Mantel’s Beyond Black is currently outselling the others by some distance. Given the good example of the Booker, though, that’s no way to pick a winner. STML, of course, has a sure-fire way of determining the eventual champion… The Judging A Book By It’s Cover Dept. presents:

Orange Face-Off 2006

This one’s a cinch. First, take the last three winners of the Orange: We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver (2005), Small Island by Andrea Levy (2004) and Property by Valerie Martin (2003). Take a household appliance from Kevin, a moody-faced lady from the Island, and some old-school typeface from Property, mix in some whitespace and a Daily Mail quote, and - bada bing, bada boom - you’ve got sales-favourite Beyond Black in like Flynn for the prize.

You heard it here first kids.

[UPDATE 9/6/05: Fucked that one, didn’t we. Bah, pshaw, &c. See here for a better appraisal.]