My Claim
from Myles na gCopaleen's 'Cruiskeen Lawn' column in the Irish Times (Introduction)
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Recently, in mixed company, when boasts and brags of every kind were flying in and out through the hot murk of words, I ventured to make the claim (not without some show of humility and modesty) that I was the greatest living swine. Instantly sharp cries of dissent rang out on every side. How could I say such a thing, I was asked, when we have so-and-so and so-and-so in the country. The names mentioned were those of public and semi-public personalities that you know and that I know. What an exquisite pleasure it would be to print them here! But look, draw up your own list. Spend half-an-hour pondering our unique national assortment of cads and humbugs. Indeed, there is one so obvious that his name will leap to everybody's mind - none other than -
The Editor: Hey, stop! Have you gone off your head?
Myself: I was only going to give one name. Just a small one. One that you know and I know. Sure what harm would that be? Everybody knows it. It would only mean £800 and costs. And think of the reputation we could win for outspokenness, courage, fearlessness, honesty and so on. 'The Paper That Cannot Be Gagged.' Indeed, damages might only be a nominal farthing. In was held by Pallas C.B. that -
The Editor: For heaven's sake, man, have a little sense. If you attempt to put any name down I will scratch it out again.
Myself: O all right, you're the boss.
Return tomorrow for more pearls of Flanndom

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